Dream log, Sunday, 02/21/2016, Lexington, KY, after 5 a.m.
I’m living during another time. 1970s? I’m living with a different family at an older farmhouse on a hill, surrounded by cornfields. It is a clear, sunny day. The corn is maybe shoulder-high. I go down the hill from the house to the polebarn where I enter a workshop. Outside I hear a ruckus, so I run out to see the sheep have been scattered. I find an injured lamb by the far corner of the polebarn. I young man I know to be my (step?)brother is there. He is larger than me, more muscular, with longer, light-brown mopish hair. He’s very rude and coarse. As I focus on the injured lamb, my brother scoffs at me in contempt and walks off.
At first, I can see the lamb has bloodied wounds on both sides. The wounds are serious, herniated, and I question whether the lamb will live. I notice it was trying to follow an older sheep that now stands a few yards away in the cornfield, but the lamb is so injured, it is too weak to pursue. I presume this is its mother. She stands still, with her back to the lamb, quietly waiting.
I turn the lamb around and now find its right side gaping open. I can look through a fist-sized hole in its side as if the lamb is made of porcelain. Inside is the broken piece of the lamb, which looks like a pork chop protruding from oatmeal. I realize the lamb will not live so I make it as comfortable as possible. As I lay it down on its back, the lamb begins to fall asleep.
I hurry into the polebarn to get a hatchet. I intend to end the lamb’s suffering. The workshop in the polebarn is large and rustic. On the far wall, there are two hatchets. Both are with short, wooden handles. The one on the right has more of a wood-splitting wedge on it. The left has is flatter and has a more circular, removable blade. Both hatchets are rusted and antique. I climb a wire-framed shelving unit to get to the hatchets and choose the flatter, more curved blade. The dream is very vivid and I can feel the smooth bars of the shelves as I climb.
As I leave the workshop, I realize my brother has been told by my wicked (step?)mother to collect the lamb so he will get credit with our father. She already is preparing the lamb for food.
This feels like a variation of the Esau and Jacob story starting in Genesis 25:19. I symbolize Esau and this brother is Esau’s brother, Jacob. The imagery of the lamb of course would symbolize Jesus (or my journey to Jesus?). Would that make the solitary sheep in the field Mary? Normally, I’m decent at finding the meaning in dreams, but this one defies me for the moment. I have been told it may be revealed to me later.
Ongoing notes until a final interpretation can be gleaned:
1970’s.. born again.. I was born in the 70’s
corn.. American way of life.. Americana.. simpler life.. sustenance.. abundance.. physicality
going down hill from house to polebarn.. leaving childhood to workplace.. growing up.. maturing
sheep have been scattered.. followers have been scattered.. church no longer unified
lamb.. at first seems this is obviously Jesus, but the lamb wanting the other sheep may indicate
lamb may not be Jesus.. Jesus would not seek consolation from Mary. innocence may be lost.. lamb
could represent my soul
brother ..more carnal.. could represent past version of me
lone sheep in field.. may be God waiting.. Mary would not likely have her back turned to her son
stepmother ..worldly.. physical needs.. not trustworthy
i didn’t have to kill the lamb.. carnal did.. deceit did.. sin did..