There are many things God says that are hard to accept for one reason or another. The truth is, agreement with God’s word and will are not naturally inherent in human nature. The unmarried desire sex out of marriage; the married are tempted with adultery. The rich want more out of greed and those who lack, think it right to steal. We just always have a natural inclination to go against God’s ways.
That takes me to my point in this article, specifically for women, and even more so for married women. What has God said to us as women?
In the Beginning
The first two chapters of Genesis depict a perfect world. No sin. Unhindered fellowship of God and man. Sweet fellowship of man and woman.
But then sin happened. And in response to sin, God made some pronouncements.
To the serpent He said “Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life. And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.” (Genesis 3:14-15)
Hurrah, we say. That serpent deserves every bit of punishment he gets. My, aren’t we glad!
To the man He said, “Cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life. Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” (Genesis 3:17-19)
It’s an undebated norm in society. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!
To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children.” (Genesis 3:16a)
Childbirth is not easy, but we expect the pangs; we work with the pain knowing there’s the imminent joy of holding a newborn child.
But to the woman God also said, “Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16b)
Suddenly the world stops, and we need to discuss that one!
God must be wrong, right?
Like I’ve said before, it isn’t natural for humanity to comply with God’s expectations, but can you see the hypocrisy in how we have handled God’s decrees in Genesis? We accept, hands down, every other thing God said on that fateful day–except that last part; God couldn’t possibly mean what He said! A husband will rule over his wife?!
We may want to think that surely God’s very distasteful verdict for the woman applies only in the Old Testament. We wish! Let’s have a look in the New Testament at Ephesians 5:23-24. “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”
Here we have the Holy Spirit proclaiming that the husband is the head of the wife, thousands of years after the Eden incident.
OK….but God only ended up saying what He said because of sin. It was not His original intent.
Well, if you look at it that way, it was sin that caused us to start wearing clothes. Should we all go naked now to reclaim God’s original intent? Sorry, friends, it doesn’t work that way! We can’t use our flesh to correct a mistake that God has already addressed.
The example of the Israelites
Take, for example the children of Israel fresh out of Egypt, on their way to the Promised Land. When their unbelief caused God to announce that He’d punish them with forty years in the wilderness, they suddenly had a change of mind. Oh, now they wanted to go and conquer Canaan! But God had already changed His mind. God had made a new decree, and He would not be with anyone who attempted to go to war against Canaan. Moses warned the stubborn set who insisted on going up against the Canaanites that God would not go with them. They went anyway and were defeated…of course…(Numbers 14:40-45)
But why should they have experienced defeat in a matter that was God’s original intent? The answer to that lies in the fact that God had changed things. He had moved on and had chosen to establish a new decree to handle the faithlessness of those ten unbelieving, doubt-inducing, rebellion-inciting spies.
Consider also Judah in the time of Jeremiah. After years and years of pleading with the Jews to repent, God had had enough. This time there was to be a siege and they would be required to surrender to Nebuchadnezzar. Suddenly, blessing and preservation would no longer be centered on Jerusalem but on Babylon. No wonder Jeremiah was not the people’s favourite prophet! He was advocating for God’s chosen people, the apple of God’s eye, the dearly beloved of God’s soul, to leave their homeland and go settle in a heathen land. They were to marry, have children and pray for the prosperity of this foreign, idolatrous nation. Those who opted to stay in Jerusalem would do so to their own peril by sword, famine and pestilence. (Jeremiah 24:4-10)
Sometimes it is too late to repent. We just have to do the next best thing, which is to cooperate with God’s judgement. Yes, cooperate with it! Not try to restore righteousness our way and end up sinning all over again in the process!
Now back to the woman
God was not pleased with man’s fall. It was not His perfect will. But it happened, and in response to it, God changed some things. It is now good for us to conform to those changes God instituted. It would have been better to have refrained from sin. But there is now a new reality that God has established, and that is where His approval now stands. Any attempts to return to what existed before will not impress God.
Marriage is not a partnership of equality. Your husband is your head, my dear Mrs. To what extent you inquire? I’m glad you asked! Have you ever measured the extent to which Christ is the head of the Church? Well that’s the exact bar God uses to ascribe headship to a husband. (I know…swallow…take deep breaths…) There’s just no way around that. That’s the exact Scripture God used to shut me up on the matter of submission. “As Christ is the head of the Church…” How do you argue with that!?
Conclusion
So though we don’t like it, there’s a new order on earth. Husbands now rule over their wives, and that’s by God’s decree. Since it is by God’s decree, we are blessed when we obey it, subscribe to it and honour it. If we try to go around it, we cause problems for our families and our own souls.
Sarah called Abraham lord, and the Bible highly exalts her as a holy example for it (1 Peter 3:6). Let Sarah’s daughters arise and be the blessings God has called us to be!
Jacob’s 11th son, Joseph is a picture of one who overcame rejection and became the second most powerful man in Egypt. His life is a testimony of the way God can use anyone to be victorious in spite of incredible opposition and betrayal by even his own family.
Genesis 39:1-4
“1 Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an Egyptian officer of Pharaoh, the captain of the bodyguard, bought him from the Ishmaelites, who had taken him down there. 2 The Lord was with Joseph, so he became a successful man. And he was in the house of his master, the Egyptian. 3 Now his master saw that the Lord was with him and how the Lord caused all that he did to prosper in his hand. 4 So Joseph found favor in his sight and became his personal servant; and he made him overseer over his house, and all that he owned he put in his charge.”
Having been rejected by his own brothers, Joseph was sold into slavery in Egypt. What is striking about him is his response. Joseph did not resist or complain, but accepted his situation. As a result, God had His divine hand on Joseph’s life and made Joseph successful in Potiphar’s house as God prospered Potiphar. This scenario would repeat itself as Joseph would spend many years in an Egyptian prison for things he did not do. Not only did Potiphar’s wife make false accusations, but he also accurately interpreted dreams of his fellow prisoners without receiving the credit. Eventually, Pharaoh was informed of Joseph’s abilities and Joseph was made a minister in Pharaoh’s house. God is present in every situation, even in the biggest injustices.
Rejected by Men
Joseph is a type of Christ, Who “was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried; yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted” (Isaiah 53:3-4). He identifies with those who have been rejected.
Jacob referred to Joseph in Genesis 49:22-24 as “a fruitful bough by a spring” and that although he was attacked, “his bow remained firm and his arms were agile, from the hands of the Mighty One of Jacob”. Jacob recognized God’s hand on Joseph’s life. In Genesis 33:18-20, Jacob purchased a piece of ground in Shechem that became the place of Joseph’s burial in Joshua 24:32. This connection of Joseph to Shechem would play itself out in an important New Testament event.
Rejected in Relationships
Jesus and his disciples met a Samaritan woman at a well located in Sychar, formerly Shechem and near the parcel of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. John 4 gives us the exchange between Jesus and this woman. At Jacob’s well, Jesus introduced the woman to the concept of eternal life utilizing the water in the well as an illustration. Jesus explained to her in verses 13-14, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life”. When the woman said she wanted this living water, it prompted a conversation about her husband. Jesus revealed information to her that the woman had had five husbands and the man with whom she now lived was not her husband. It is traditionally assumed that the Samaritan woman was a woman of ill repute. But what if that understanding is not accurate?
There are a number of arguments to believe that the Samaritan woman was not of questionable character, but rather one who suffered much in her married life. First, it is not likely that a woman far advanced in years to have had five husbands to be found living in adultery. Secondly, it is not likely that Jesus would not have reproved her for her fornication. Also, when Jesus told her of her history with husbands, one would expect her to acknowledge her guilt before Him, but instead the conversation was about where worship should take place, Mt Zion or Mt Gerizim. Finally, it is very odd that a woman of questionable character would have had such influence with the people of her city on her testimony alone. The fact remains that during this time and in this culture, women did not initiate divorce.
John 4:21-24
“21 Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe Me, an hour is coming when neither in this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. 22 “You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 “But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers. 24 “God is spirit, and those who worshipHim must worship in spirit and truth.”
When the woman brought up worship, Jesus took the opportunity to teach her that true worship has nothing to do with location, but rather it is a matter of the heart, defined by spirit and truth. The Greek word for worship is proskuneo and means to recognize a superior due reverence and homage, to kiss the hand of. It can be likened to a dog licking his master’s hand. Since God is spirit, true worship of Him is spiritual and according to truth, the Word of God (John 17:17). This woman finally recognized Jesus as the Messiah and went to share her faith with others in her city and the account tells us that many believed. As she was meeting her people, Jesus was instructing His disciples that the fields are white for harvest. Jesus said in verses 36-38, “Already he who reaps is receiving wages and is gathering fruit for life eternal; so that he who sows and he who reaps may rejoice together. “For in this case the saying is true, ‘One sows and another reaps.’ “I sent you to reap that for which you have not labored; others have labored and you have entered into their labor.” True worship includes a willingness to share one’s faith with others, whether fruit is visible or not.
According to William Temple, “Worship is the submission of all our nature to God. It is the quickening of conscience by His holiness, the nourishment of the mind with His truth, the purifying of the imagination of His beauty, the opening of the heart to His love, the surrender of the will to His purpose.” When the believer is totally submitted to God’s will, His divine empowerment will accomplish His purposes and others will be watching. Jesus identifies with the ones who have been rejected or betrayed and desires to use that rejection as a means of revealing His heart to all.
(The following is an excerpt from a longer talk on sexual purity.)
Human sexuality and our understanding of it has become corrupted since the Fall. If the Church isn’t salt and light on the issue of sexuality, the only voice left is the world’s. Apart from God, the world’s way leads to corruption, confusion and brokenness. By studying God’s original design for sexuality, we can better see how His straight line contrasts to our own crooked upbringing and ideas about these bodies we’ve been given.
Sexuality is a gift from God; however, it is an area of our lives that can cause many problems. Many people have been wounded and shamed by their sexual experiences and, as a result, continue to struggle with their sexuality even after coming to know the Lord.
The Lord desires for us to be whole in every area of life, including this most intimate aspect of our humanity. As we cooperate with the Holy Spirit, He is faithful to heal, deliver, and restore us so that we can properly understand this gift from God.
In the Beginning…
In Genesis 1, God creates the world in seven days. Genesis 2 recapitulates the creation account, showing us additional color. God creates all plants and animals to reproduce after their own kind. The world is perfect. No death, no disease, no decay; no sin, no sickness, no suffering. Adam is walking in all the fullness of God, spiritually united with the Father. God shows all the animals to Adam, which Adam names. As Adam finishes, God completes the illustration by stating there is no suitable “kind” for man. Woman is brought forth—not from another lump of clay—but from man who was full of the glory of God. (Not because man was lonely. Not because he had “needs”.)
“For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24, Hebrews 13:4).
Two individuals, man and woman; one flesh, united spiritually with God and perfect in every way.
This is how it was in the beginning.
But, free will…
Covenants, Blood and Jewish Wedding Customs
Fast-forward: Adam and Eve eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Their eyes are opened to their nakedness and they hide themselves from each other and from God. Of course, our omnipresent God knew where they were physically. I have heard pastors explain that God’s question, “Where are you?” is an invitation for confession. Indeed, maybe things would have been different had Adam and Eve ran to the Father instead of away from Him. Eve was deceived (1 Tim. 2:14) but it was Adam that committed treason by listening to his wife’s voice over the Lord’s. However, I believe there was more to that moment. I believe our Father felt the separation; the cutting of the spiritual cord between He and the first couple. And though He foreknew the Fall would happen, I believe our Father experienced sadness from that separation, if Jesus’ despair on the cross is any indication. (Mt 27:46, Mk 15:34)
The result: spiritual death from sin and separation between God and humanity. An innocent animal is sacrificed, its skin used to cover their nakedness (Gen 3:21) and the first couple is ejected from the garden and away from the Tree of [Everlasting] Life. (Of course, Jesus restores us to that everlasting life, the life that was lost in the garden (John 3:16,36), but that is a different talk…)
Humanity sprawls out into the world and immediately corruption sets in. All sorts of depravity ensues and then the flood—a global reset—and it’s here where we see the first major covenant between God and man. Though scholars will argue about the full number of covenants* in the Bible, most will agree there are about five major covenants:
The Noahic Covenant (Genesis 9); A covenant between God and Noah, post-flood, where God reaffirms humanity’s dominion and promises never again to destroy the earth with water.
The Abrahamic Covenant (Genesis 12, 15); God promises Abraham land, descendants more numerous than the stars and blessing extending through Abraham to all the nations of the earth.
The Mosaic Covenant (Exodus 19, 24); Established with the Israelites at Mt. Sinai after they were led out of Egypt. God gives the Law, a code of conduct for a holy nation of priests and an instrument for illustrating life with God (blessings) and life apart from God (curses). The Law also foreshadows the need for sacrifice for atonement.
The Davidic Covenant (2 Samuel 7); God promises the future king of Israel will come through the line of David.
The New Covenant (Jeremiah 31:31-34, Luke 22:14-23); On the night of the Last Supper, Jesus makes this covenant with the apostles for removal of sins, renewing of hearts and reunion with God.
Over and over, throughout the Word, we see our God is a covenantal God. Yes, He is love and mercy, yes, absolutely, but He is also just and holy and righteous. We see promises and agreements declared and then we see fulfillment of those promises. Blessings and curses are born out of covenants honored and covenants broken.
(*“A covenant is an agreement between two parties. There are two basic types of covenants: conditional and unconditional. A conditional or bilateral covenant is an agreement that is binding on both parties for its fulfillment. Both parties agree to fulfill certain conditions. If either party fails to meet their responsibilities, the covenant is broken and neither party has to fulfill the expectations of the covenant. An unconditional or unilateral covenant is an agreement between two parties, but only one of the two parties has to do something. Nothing is required of the other party.” (Got Questions.))
Of these five major covenants, we see blood being applied in three: the Abrahamic (animal sacrifice and circumcision), Mosaic (animal sacrifice and sprinkling of blood for the yearly atonement of sin) and New Covenant (the shedding of Jesus’ blood for the atonement of our sin.) Blood covenants are considered the ultimate form of contract.
A cutting a traditional blood covenant between two parties often looked like this:
Exchange coats; Says the identity and authority of the person or group entering this covenant is exchanged with each participant. Says I’m no longer my own; all I am, everything I represent, now belongs to you.
Exchange weapon belts; Your enemies are now my enemies and my enemies are now your enemies; your friends are now my friends and my friends are now your friends. Says all my strength now belongs to you. I will serve you if you ever need me and you will serve me if I ever need you.
Exchange vows in the walk of blood; An animal—usually a bull, goat, or lamb—is sacrificed by cutting the animal in half. The halves are laid open with a pool of blood between them. The covenant-makers walk in a figure-eight between the halves and meet in the middle in the pool of blood. The figure-eight represents a never-ending relationship. We meet face-to-face and pronounce the blessings and the curses of the covenant. [Modern symbol: Exchanging vows.]
Exchange names; Each participant takes the others name to himself. If a person’s name represents their individuality, exchanging names demonstrates the death of being an “individual” onto oneself and the union of the two individuals or groups. [Modern symbol: Wife takes husband’s name or the names are shared between spouses.]
Exchange blood; While standing in the pool of sacrificial blood face-to-face, an incision is made in the palms or the wrists of each participant. The two participants now either shake hands or put their bleeding wrists together so that the blood intermingles. Two bloods, two lives, have been joined into one blood, one life. [Modern symbol: We’ll talk about this in a moment when we discuss Jewish wedding customs.]
The mark of the covenant; While still sharing blood, a dark substance (like charcoal) is rubbed into the wounds so a dark scar will form once healed. This clearly identifies the blood covenant partners to the world as being in covenant. [Modern symbol: Wedding rings.]
The covenant meal; A shared meal—usually consisting of bread and wine—signifying the covenant partners have become one. We break one loaf of bread and we each place a piece of that bread into our covenant partner’s mouth, demonstrating that a part of us has gone into the other. Drinking wine from a common cup indicates our blood has gone into each other. Since life is in the blood, we are demonstrating that we have taken the other’s life into ourselves. [Modern symbol: Bride and groom feeding each other cake.]
The Jewish Wedding Covenant
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
Another form of biblical covenant—Jewish marriage—had three steps:
Contract; Legal marriage by signing a written contract [ketubah, k’too-bah] between the groom and the father of the bride. Once signed, the couple were as legally married as they could be, even if they never complete the next two stages. Divorce required a formal letter called a “get” to loose both parties from the marriage bond. This is the situation Joseph found himself in when he discovered Mary was pregnant.
“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph [ketubah], before they came together [before consummation] she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to divorce her away secretly. [get]” (Matthew 1:18–19)
Joseph and Mary’s father had signed a ketubah and they were legally married. Mary was in a vulnerable position at the mercy of her husband: She was pregnant before the chuppah (the formal second-stage consummation ceremony) and had no “virginity cloth”. (Deuteronomy 22:15,17)
“Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” The angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason, the holy Child shall be called the Son of God.” (Luke 1:34–35)
Joseph was a “righteous man”: He did not want to disgrace Mary even though he believed she was an adulterer. He was going to divorce her secretly by merely handing her the “get” (divorce paper) without publicly accusing her of adultery. Such an accusation would have allowed Joseph to avoid paying the Jewish bride price of 50 shekels* and keep her dowry (assets that accompanied Mary into marriage.) Without publicly accusing her, however, Joseph would be required to return the bridal dowry and pay the 50-shekel bride price to her father.
(*Of course, the value of precious metals fluctuates over the centuries as economies rise and fall. The Code of Hammurabi (circa 1800 BC) sets the value of unskilled labor at approximately ten shekels per year of work. Later, records within the Persian Empire (539-333 BC) give ranges from a minimum of two shekels per month for unskilled labor, to as high as seven to ten shekels per month in some records. Either way you slice it, 50 shekels of silver was a lot of money. (Reddit.com))
Consummation; (chuppah) at the bride’s home with a “virginity cloth” up to seven years or more after the contract was signed. This seven-year span we see twice in the account of Jacob, Leah and Rachel (Genesis 29).
The yichud [yee-hoo’d] (togetherness or seclusion) refers to the ancient Jewish custom of leaving the bride and groom alone after the wedding ceremony to consummate their marriage in a designated private room. (Wikipedia.) Two witnesses—one for the bride, one for the groom—would be stationed outside the wedding chamber to await the positive cry of the groom. (This is what John the Baptist was referring to when he told his disciples, “He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. So this joy of mine has been made full.” (John 3:29).) The blood in the man’s semen mixes with the blood from the virgin bride’s broken hymen and two flesh become one in blood covenant. The chuppah began as the virginity cloth referred to in Deuteronomy 22 and has evolved over time to be symbolized by a cloth canopy over the bridal bed and finally, to the modern-day chuppah canopy Jewish couples get married under.
Celebration; Wedding feast at the groom’s or bride’s father’s home. The woman leaves the covering of her father’s house to join her husband in the place he went away to prepare. (Matthew 22:1-14, Matthew 25:1-13)
You see, when 1 Corinthians 7:1 says, “It is not good for a man to touch a woman,” it means “with romantic intention.” When we say, “You may now kiss the bride” at the wedding altar, it implies you haven’t yet.
Sexuality is way bigger than just doing what feels good and making sure the parts fit. Physical, covenantal oneness is a type that points us to spiritual oneness, the same spiritual oneness our Lord prayed for in the garden of Gethsemane on the night He was betrayed (John 17). That same spiritual oneness was made possible by the shedding of His blood. It was His death on the cross that tore the veil between God and man and paves the way for two to become one.*
(*The Old Testament priests entered the Holy of Holies with the blood of bulls and goats every year, a shadow pointing to the ultimate sacrifice to come. When Christ died (the spotless Lamb slain before the foundation of the world), the temple curtain separating the Holy of Holies was rent in two from top to bottom, torn by the invisible hands of God (Mt 27:51), and Christ—as our High Priest—entered the Most Holy Place once and for all by His own blood” (Heb 9:7, 24). The veil that separated man from God was removed by the shedding of Christ’s own blood, allowing us to have confidence to enter into the Most Holy Place and “draw near to God” (Heb 10:19, 22).)
Therefore, all sexual needs are to be met only within the context of marriage (Proverbs 5:15-23).
“1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread? 2 When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh, my adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell. 3 Though a host encamp against me, my heart will not fear; though war arise against me, in spite of this I shall be confident. 4 One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple. 5 For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle; in the secret place of His tent He will hide me; He will lift me up on a rock.” (Psalm 27:1-5)
One of my favorite passages in Scripture is found in Psalm 27. David testifies to his relationship with God as a place of protection and a place reserved specifically for him. God wants each believer to recognize that he is special. In verse 4, David seeks his own dwelling as being in the house of the Lord, in His temple, all the days of his life. In verse 5, he refers to it as “the secret place in His tent” where God will hide him. The secret place is a place where God hides His people within their dynamic relationship with Him. This special place was found in David’s pursuit of God’s presence through a heart of devotion. Although not a physical place, it is the place where the believer beholds the beauty of the Lord, where he meditates on His word.
The Fear of the Lord
Psalm 31 is another written by David and he says in verses 19-20, “How great is Your goodness, which You have stored up for those who fear You, which You have wrought for those who take refuge in You, before the sons of men! You hide them in the secret place of Your presence from the conspiracies of man; You keep them secretly in a shelter from the strife of tongues”. This secret place is only for those who fear Him, who reverence Him and willingly acknowledge His goodness. In the secret place, there is a clear sense of protection from those who would attack the righteous, particularly from slanders and scourgings of the tongue.
In Ezekiel 7:20-22, God speaks about the wicked in relation to the temple as transforming “the beauty of His ornaments into pride”. God says they take the beautiful things of His and make them detestable. When man intends his will to undermine God’s purposes, it creates all kinds of evil. This pride also leads to varying forms of idolatry, a personal attack against the holiness of God. In verse 22, God says, “I will also turn My face from them, and they will profane My secret place; then robbers will enter and profane it”. The wicked are always trying to pervert that which God has made beautiful.
With God, All Things are Possible
I recently heard about a conversation that a rabbi who heads up a lifesaving organization had with a board member. After looking over the rabbi’s ambitious goals, the board member said, “Maybe we need to rein in those goals. You can’t save the entire world!”
The rabbi replied, “The reason why you think that we can’t save everyone is because you think that you can save 300 lives. If you realized that you can’t even lift your finger without God’s help, let alone save even one life, then you would understand that if God can help us save 300 people, He can help us save a million.”
When we realize that we can’t do a single thing without God, that’s when we finally understand anything is possible with God.
In John 15:5, Jesus said, “without Me, you can do nothing”. In Isaiah 45:3, God promises, “I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places, so that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name”. He promises to go before us and make the rough places smooth. In Psalm 91:1, it is the shelter of the Most High, the shadow of the Almighty. Our connection to the secret place is our confidence in God’s ability and His heart of love on behalf of His people.
Life in the Spirit
This heart is expressed in Song of Solomon in 2:13-14, “The fig tree has ripened its figs, and the vines in blossom have given forth their fragrance. Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come along!” O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret place of the steep pathway, let me see your form, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your form is lovely.” The bridegroom expresses to His bride the fruitfulness of life when the believer finds resurrection life, life in the Spirit. This life is found on the other side of the cross, in the clefts of the rock, where she leaves behind her own interest to accept the bridegroom’s complete will. It is here that the bridegroom (Jesus) is preoccupied with the bride’s (believer’s) voice and ultimate appearance.
The New Testament revelation of the secret place is communicated by the Apostle Paul. In Philippians 4:12, he says, “I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.” He was speaking about contentment (verse 11) where the believer’s happiness is not defined by his circumstances, but rather by his security in God, realized in the secret place. Finally, Paul tells us that “we have this treasure in earthen vessels [jars of clay], so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves” (2 Corinthians 4:7). The greatness of God is most clearly seen when the believer recognizes that he is just a jar of clay. Out of that realization comes the greatness of His power for others to see.
Relationships are complicated. Because of the various roles we play in life, the way we relate to others is usually controlled by those roles. For instance, I am a husband, father, grandfather, friend, etc. and these roles govern the way I relate to different ones in my life. As a husband, I have a unique relationship with my wife that governs the unique way I relate to her. But my wife is also the mother of our children and grandmother of our grandchildren and those relationships also affect the way I relate to her. The same is true for my children who are also parents of my grandchildren. The question is, have I taken time to know my children as individuals, the particular way they think or am I seeing them only as ones to be parented.
In the same way, my children relate to me based on the fact that I am their father. Have I made the effort for them to get to know me as a person, the way I think and relate to the world around me? This is an area where I have fallen short. If my position as father and parent is one dimension and their role as children is the second dimension, then the third dimension is the ability to know others on a personal level.
Queen of Sheba
There is a good Biblical illustration of this principle found in 1 Kings 10:1-8. The Queen of Sheba has heard of Solomon’s fame, his wisdom, and his greatness, but she wants to know more. She travels to Jerusalem to meet with him to find out who this person is, the way he thinks, how he relates to others. She wants to know him in the third dimension. It says, “she came to test him with difficult questions”. In verse 3, “Solomon answered all her questions; nothing was hidden from the king which he did not explain to her.” The Queen admitted that she didn’t believe the reports, but found out, “the half was not told me. You exceed in wisdom and prosperity the report which I heard”.
Our relationship with God is also complicated. To see Him as the all-knowing, all-powerful, everywhere-present being that governs the universe defines the way man sees Him. We are talking about the creator-creature relationship. This defines the two dimensions of that relationship. But God desires us to know Him as He knows us, in the third dimension. He wants us to know Him by the way He thinks, particularly about his love toward each of us. This distinction is illustrated in the differences of two books written by Solomon, Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon. In Ecclesiastes the emphasis is on the material realm where man is occupied by a life of wandering and a pursuit of knowledge and worldly experience, vanity of vanities. On the other hand, Song of Solomon is all about the deeper relationship with God.
Song of Songs 1:1-4
1The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s. 2 “May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine. 3 “Your oils have a pleasing fragrance, Your name is like purified oil; therefore the maidens [hidden ones, virgins] love you. 4 “Draw me after you and let us run together! The king has brought me into his chambers [secret place].” “We will rejoice in you and be glad; We will extol your love more than wine. Rightly [in uprightness] do they love you.”
Although written as a chronicle of Solomon’s relationship to a Shulamite maiden, it is intended to speak to the dynamics of man’s relationship to God as the bride (ie. church) and the bridegroom (Jesus Christ). In verse 4, God brings the believer into his chambers, a secret place where true intimacy can be realized. “We will extol your love more than wine”. The entire book is a documentary on the development of that loving relationship. It can best be illustrated in these verses:
in 2:16, the maiden says, “My beloved is mine and I am his”. She needs to know He is for her first
in 6:3, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine”. She now recognizes she belongs to Him first
in 7:10, “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me”. She has no more doubt about His love for her
Abiding in His Love
God wants us to know Him by the way He loves us. In John 15:9, “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.” The love God has for us is directly related to the love the Father has for His Son. To abide in His love is to dwell there, to remain there, to be constantly reminded of that love. In 1John 4:16, “God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him”.
God’s love for His people has always been available. In the tabernacle, the curtain that separates the Holy of Holies from the Holy Place where the priests carried on their religious duties had a woven image of the cherubim visible throughout the year to the priests. Inside the Holy of Holies resided the Ark of the Covenant where the cherubim oversaw the presence of God. In Exodus 25:22, God says to Israel, “And there I will meet with you, and I will speak with you from above the mercy seat, from between the two cherubim which are on the ark of the Testimony.” I have a choice of knowing God by His image, from a distance or I can be brought into His secret chambers where I will find that His unconditional love for me is real.
This third dimension of love embraces the soul to become satisfied, fulfilled, and complete. In Psalm 63:3, “Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You”.
The following is a short devotional written for volunteers kicking off a local Christian retreat. Total runtime may be 20-30 minutes including the team discussion at the end.
First Thoughts
When Pastor told me the word for this retreat was “strive”, my first thought was, “Yikes! Striving is not good!” Since coming to Christ, I’ve had to intentionally lay down striving; striving to be accepted, to be good enough, to receive grace apart from performance. I’ve had to unlearn striving. I used to strive to build my own kingdom which led to me being almost half a million in debt, bankruptcy, multiple foreclosures; a mess. Besides our finances, striving can lead to weirdness in our relationships, our work life, etc.
Striving can be a double-edged sword when motivations are impure and striving is not walked out properly.
The Word Says
The NIV has seven exact instances of the word, “strive” and the KJV has 23 (including a couple “striveths”.) Striving in the Old Testament, especially in the Torah, is usually contending against another, either in argument or action. In Exodus and Deuteronomy, we see laws for correcting fighting; in the book Job, we have arguing among Job and his friends. Striving is mentioned in Psalms and Proverbs. In some of the books of the prophets, there are warnings to the nations who have strove against God (namely Babylon and Israel.) Striving in the Old Testament is contentious; argumentative; hostile.
In the New Testament though, the heart around striving seems to shift. Here the term “striving” moves away from the more carnal, brutish striving and into a kingdom of God definition. Essentially, we see a shift from “striving against” others and God to a “striving toward” or a “reaching to” others and God. One notes conflict, the other notes union.
In Romans (KJV), Paul speaks of striving in prayer and preaching the Gospel.
In 1 Corinthians and 2 Timothy (KJV), we’re petitioned to strive, not for earthly mastery (achievement)—considered to be a corruptible crown—but to align with one another for the advancement of the Gospel (2 Timothy 2:14).
In 2 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV), we’re called to rejoice and strive for full restoration, to encourage one another, to be of one mind and to live in peace.
Zoom In
Finally, in Luke 13:24 (see also Mt 7:13-29), Jesus tells us to strive to enter in by the narrow gate:
22 He went through the cities and villages, teaching, and journeying toward Jerusalem.
23 Then said one to him, “Lord, are there few that are saved?” And he said to them, 24 “Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say to you, will seek to enter in and shall not be able. 25 When once the master of the house is risen up [Who rose? Jesus rose.], and has shut the door, and you begin to stand without, and to knock at the door, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open unto us’; he shall answer and say unto you, ‘I do not know who you are’:
26 Then shall you begin to say, ‘We have eaten and drunk in your presence, and you have taught in our streets.’ 27 But he shall say, ‘I tell you, I know not who you are; depart from me, all you workers of iniquity.’
28 There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when you shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, and you yourselves thrust out. 29 And they shall come from the east, and from the west, and from the north, and from the south [Who is this? Gentile nations.], and shall sit down in the kingdom of God. 30 And, behold, there are last [Gentiles] which shall be first [greatest], and there are first [Jews] which shall be last [least].”
This is our Lord’s warning to Israel. Their position as God’s chosen people is not what saves them, but their repentance and acceptance of Jesus as the Messiah. In John 10, Jesus refers to Himself as the gate.
Pray It Out
Take five minutes (it won’t be enough time) to hear from Holy Spirit to answer these two questions:
Are you currently striving in an Old Testament way or a New Testament way? Are you striving to be accepted? To be enough? Or are you striving toward the kingdom while enjoying the fruits of the Spirit?
How would He have you strive now? What does that look like?
