Home Blog Page 29

Fighting Temptation

Jason Moore
-
0
Fighting Temptation

Life can be like a jungle; unexpected things lurk in unknown places. Temptation can be described like this. It can catch us by surprise and hold us hostage.

The struggle is real.

How we are made is so intricate. The psalmist says we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Just like nature, so is our anatomy; it points to a designer. God made us, so He knows us best and loves us the most.

After Adam and Eve sinned, our flesh is drawn to depravity (Psalms 119:25.) Our “humanness” gravitates towards self-centered desires. The need to be loved, heard and cared for can be very powerful and a guiding force in our lives. The devil studies and knows our strengthens and weaknesses. He is not creative but works in patterns. In studying our actions and reactions, he manipulates accordingly.

Temptation is a suggestion to think and act in a way that doesn’t glorify God. The capture of our attention and a plea to our lust patterns (lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life) can capture the heart. Lust can be defined as reaching for something God hasn’t given. Feelings stir up the emotions and focus in on the present need rather than the long-term consequences. The lack of the fear of the Lord develops habits that produce inordinate desires that lead to a wandering eye and heart.

We see the anatomy of temptation in James 1:14-16:

“Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. So, don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters.”

Pornography is a mistress and reduces man to a piece of bread and a life to destruction. The privacy and anonymity of selfishness consume the man. The alcoholic feels invisible and invincible but collateral damage is in their wake. The addict thinks he can manage his sin and hide it from everyone else. He lies to himself saying, “I am not hurting anyone. I deserve it. God understands and will forgive me. I am only human!”  These justifications seem logical, but allow the flesh to war against the spirit and destroy the soul’s ability to receive. The apostle Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 5:6, “He who lives in pleasure is dead while they still live.“

Sometimes we minimize sin and pacify the potential consequences. A good reality check is to ask ourselves, “Where will this decision take us?”

The Way Back

Willpower—even remorse—won’t give what is needed to overcome. We need a steady intake of truth to carry us out of the pit. The apostle Paul shares in Galatians 5:16, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.”

The emphasis on victory is walking in the Spirit.

Exposing the lie is the first step to turning things around. The apostle Paul knew who he was and who he was not. He states in Romans 6:20 he was not his sin.

The most powerful lie is the one that is closest to the truth. Here are a few to “take captive in the truth”:

  • “God doesn’t know what I need.”
  • “My need is never going to be met.”
  • “If people knew me, they would want nothing to do with me.”
  • “I must change to fit in and be accepted.”

In 1 Peter 1:4, Peter points to the promises of God and God’s divine nature as being the way of escape from corruption through lust. What is God’s truth promising you? Our faith is based upon what God has done for us. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He has His best prepared.

Victory Over Temptation

According to 2 Corinthians 2:14, “We are called to always triumph.” Failure often screams a very different message. The same snare may trip us up, but God is able to bring you through (Jude 1:24.)

Here are a few ways to experience His power:

  • Find a fellowship based on agape love. This agopic relationship means you are accepted and loved no matter what. Agape love does the healing.
  • Identify triggers. Consider hunger, stress, anger, boredom and genetical family history. Be honest and chart patterns.
  • Premeditate an escape plan. Have a plan to execute. No plan means no change.
  • Raise accountability. Identify someone to call to derail any downward spirals.

The devil is defeated! He connives to usurp authority in any way he can. Don’t give away your purity, peace and strength to the highest bidder! Wait and believe God has His best prepared for you! Hold fast and the temptation will pass!

Looking Up: Right Christian Perspective

Jason Moore
-
0
Looking Up: Right Christian Perspective

Life can weigh us down at times; so much so, that all we can see is our shoes.

Our world gets small when we look down. It is easy to analyze and focus on our stuff or the faults of others. This can result in negativity that can stunt growth and narrow our viewpoint. Our UP-look gives us perspective.

Some things in life are beyond us, and when we try to wrap our minds around those difficult things, we can get confused and lose the mystery. People can be a mystery. Bad things happening to godly people can be a mystery. The uniqueness in a relationship that once drew us together can be lost the moment we try to change or control one another.

Looking up in prayer can help bring wisdom and understanding to what we are experiencing.

In the Gospels, Jesus often came across burdened people. In Luke 13:10-17, Jesus touched a woman crippled and bent over. He spoke a word of healing and she was straightened. She had a personal encounter and was loosed from her burdens.

Weighing Down

What is not in the Lord’s care can weigh us down. The landscape of life can include some unwelcome guests like depression, a pressure that resists our upward view. Oppression can be an added weight, like a wet blanket that pushes us down inside and out. There may be compression too, a sense of claustrophobia where everything feels like all is closing in on every side.

Maybe you’re familiar with one (or all) of these destructive agents.

Looking up and away from the familiar is the beginning. This is not ignoring weakness, but it is bringing other things into focus – life-giving things. Jesus promised to be a shield about us and the lifter of our hearts (Psalms 3:3.) This is our provision.

Where Do You Look?

Where you look determines your relief or heaviness. Looking at ourselves in a negative way can compound our heaviness. The psalmist tells us in Psalms 121:1-3, “I will lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence comes my help. My help comes from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keeps thee will not slumber.”

Jesus promises to be your strength and life support (Psalms 55:18.) Look away and look unto Him.

Positive thinking or denial of the obvious doesn’t deliver the full answer. The answer is to look into the eyes of Jesus and trade our shame for Grace. We may feel too weak to do this, but as we look to Jesus, He will bridge the gap and do the rest.

What we behold is what we become, the Psalmist says in Psalms 17:15 “As for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness: I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness.”

Our healing comes by intentionally looking at the cross. We see this illustrated in Numbers 21. As the Israelites looked away from their snakebites, healing came. Looking away from the crisis and the hurt and receiving love leads us out of our pit (Psalms 40:1-2.)

Kingdom Balance

Solomon writes, “A false balance is an abomination, but a just weight is his delight….” (Proverbs 11:1.)  God’s Word brings balance. We may think all balance is determined by the proper weight distribution on either side of the scales but in the spiritual realm, it is different. It is the content that determines the power of influence. What we focus on builds momentum. Our focus empowers and releases authority which can overcome destructive thought patterns. No matter how small the promise or truth appears to be, it is far greater than anything coming against us.

No matter how small a look may seem—or a step in the right direction—this potential can release all the power of heaven.

Falling Forward

We are all familiar with the term “backsliding”. Failure often can bring us backward and we lose ground. When we fall, grace is there every time to move us forward! Just like an escalator, His love moves us closer to Him. The consequences are there but there is also capacity and comfort to grow.

No one likes to fall. Falling hurts. Watching my son learn to ride a bike was exciting but also painful. He had all the gear to lessen the blow of his fall but falling, scraping and blood was inevitable. Getting back up and trying again taught him that some lessons of growth have failure in them.

Look into the eyes of Jesus today and receive words from above. Look away from the things that steal your joy and energy and choose to worship. We may tell ourselves we can’t or that we don’t have the desire or strength, but the truth is the desire and strength come from the Lord. Jesus will free you like a bird from a cage and release your soul from prison to praise him (Psalms 142:7.)

Wherever you are now—whether you’re standing, laying down or falling—look up into Jesus’ wonderful face. He will give you a new song.

Stepping Out by Faith for Greater Achievements

Desemond Mbantoh
-
0
Stepping Out by Faith for Greater Achievements

“I assure you that whoever tells this hill to get up and throw itself in the sea and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. For this reason, I tell you: when you pray and ask for something, believe that you have received it, and you will be given whatever you ask for.” ~Mark 11:23-24, Good News Bible

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” ~2 Corinthians 5:7

As followers of Christ, we’ve been called to take every step in our lives by faith because God is totally in control. Indeed, he is in control even when things seem out of control to the human eyes. That’s why it is said that as Christians, we walk by faith and not by sight. In simple terms, it is what God says about your situation that matters. What you hear and see does not really matter before God, the Father of Creation. For sure, you’ve read the scripture where Jesus is telling his followers that everything is possible for God and to the man who believes in his unlimited power over heaven and earth (Matthew 19:26). Hence, you need not to entertain doubts or worries in your heart because God is willing and able to intervene in your situation.

Faith is the key to obtain from God all what he has promised to give us.

The saying that as Christians, we ought to walk by faith and not by sight sounds simple. Truth be told, it is far from being simple as we hear it sounding. Walking by faith and not by sight requires tremendous courage and strength. Embracing this scripture means that you are willing to be misunderstood, persecuted, insulted, and even abandoned by your close ones. Such will make you appear abnormal before the human eyes and also sound abnormal to their ears. In simple terms, you’ll appear as a fool before many. However, the benefits of walking by faith are so heavy for a single individual to carry. That is, walking by faith will release heavenly grace, blessings, and favor on you and your household. Those who walk by faith live to testify the goodness of God in their lives and in those of their children.

What is faith?

Faith is a supernatural gift from God which reassures us of His sovereign power and control over everything that happens in our lives on Earth and in that to come. It is the Christian tool that renders the impossible possible through God’s power. It is capable of changing situations and restoring joy and happiness in the midst of God’s children. Faith is the evidence of things not seen and the substance of things hoped for. It is the link between the natural and the supernatural. We can as well perceive it as the complete trust in God’s yet unfulfilled promises. A person cannot please God without faith. Faith and believe are complementary. Up to some extent, we can say that faith is believing the God will bring to accomplishment all what His Word tells us. This is because God’s Word never fails. He is one with His Word.

Stepping out by faith and changing situations for the best

The believe in our heart makes up for the spiritual power which can be released through our mouths by faith to overcome every circumstance contrary to God’s will in our lives. The words from our mouths when empowered by faith in Christ have the ability to move mountains and dry oceans. Remember that it was with words that God created heaven and earth together with its content. And with the victory that Christ gave us on the cross at Calvary, we can speak things into existence through faith. Bring in prayers as you speak the words from your heart through your mouth before the throne of God, Father of Creation. Always remember the words of Christ in Mark 11:23-24: “I assure you that whoever tells this hill to get up and throw itself in the sea and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. For this reason, I tell you: when you pray and ask for something, believe that you have received it, and you will be given whatever you ask for.”

Christ portrays God as a Father who hears and answers prayers. He is not deaf that He will not hear you. He is not blind that He will not see your tears of sorrow and suffering. Behold, God is more than ever willing and ready to hear and answer us when we call to Him in sincerity just as the prophets of the Old Testament pointed out. He is a good helper who will not leave those who are faithful to Him without a blessing. Remain faithful to God and you will be counted among His own. He will love you, and locate you in His mercy and favor. And for sure, once God locates a person in His mercy and favor, the story changes for the best. The story of Job and Solomon testify to this.

In addition, Christ is preparing a place in heaven for all those who will remain faithful until the end of time. That’s why we hereby write to encourage you in the faith. Always keep in mind that God is aware of your suffering and that He will not leave you without a blessing. He is aware of the persecutions coming your way in the name of the gospel. Hold steadfast and He will give you the strength to overcome them. God is aware of your poverty status and He will not leave you without a blessing.

Speaking words of faith over your life

Just as we previously mentioned, the words from our mouths have the power to change every situation for the best through Christ. Let’s support this saying by reading from Proverbs 18:20-21: “You will have to live with the consequences of everything that you say. What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.”

Having this in mind, a wise man will use words unto his advantage. Instead of speaking troubles over your life, reject them and speak success in the name of Jesus Christ. Reject to dwell on failures and worries but rather put your trust in God, knowing full well that he will intervene and turn things for your advantage. Speak words of faith in the name of Jesus Christ over every situation that is overwhelming you and stressing you out. Ask God for the necessary strength to overcome all the challenges and temptations directed by the devil. You can start by familiarizing yourself with the best bible verses about strength.

 

Understanding Spiritual Warfare and Triumphing Over the Powers of Darkness

Desemond Mbantoh
-
0
Understanding Spiritual Warfare and Triumphing Over the Powers of Darkness

“Put on all the armor that God gives you, so that you will be able to stand up against the Devil’s evil tricks. For we are not fighting against human beings but against the wicked spiritual forces in the heavenly world, the rulers, authorities, and cosmic powers of this dark age.” ~Ephesians 6:11-12

What is spiritual warfare?

It is an intense battle in the unseen and supernatural dimensions where God is all powerful and Satan is in revolt. No one is free from the spiritual warfare. We are all affected by it in one way or the other. Although the spiritual warfare is not visible to the human eye, it is absolutely real and can be felt by the followers of Christ. This spiritual battle we are talking of is mentioned a couple of times across the Holy Scriptures. It is particularly dealt with in Ephesians 6:12 where Apostle Paul calls on all Christians to put on the armor of God for spiritual battle against the evil forces and principalities in the high places.

Why should we go into spiritual battle against the prince of darkness?

It’s but normal to ask why we should get into battle against the prince of darkness and his agents? Truth be told, the Devil and his agents have already launched the attack. Failing to defend ourselves will let us into his hands. Being in the hands of the prince of darkness is the deadliest and most horrible nightmare to live. He won’t hesitate to apply John 10:10 which portrays him as a thief who comes only to steal, destroy, and kill.

The Devil is specialized in stealing our spiritual and physical blessings. This explains why many are currently struggling in bondage. They work more than all but there is nothing to testify for their hard work. Such people have been tight down by the Devil who is seriously working against their progress and happiness. The Devil has stolen the sound heath of many and dropped them into rivers of sicknesses. He does not waste time in attacking our finances, jobs, marriages, families, and above all our faith in God. That’s why we must fasten our armor and stand against him. On the cross at Calvary, Christ gave us complete victory over the Devil and his agents. It is left for us to claim this victory in faith as we enhance prayerful lives and remain faithful to God’s commands.

How do we fight the spiritual battle as followers of Christ?

Although spiritual warfare is a Biblical term that sounds harsh, we must take it that way because it was inspired by God. The term was used by Apostle Paul to call on us to intensively prepare for real battle against the evil forces that rule in the heavenly places. It is high time that every Christian realize that what we are undergoing on earth is more than a mere struggle. Note that we are not on earth alone, there are spirits fighting our well-being. God has given us specific tools or weapons to overcome these spirits in the name of Jesus Christ. The composition of our armor for the spiritual battle can be found in Ephesians 6:14-18: “Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit…”

What does it take to stand firm as a spiritual warrior in Christ and experience victory over the Devil?

1. Praying in the spirit

A prayer in the spirit is one which flows from the understanding of God’s word which is written in our hearts. Such a prayer reflects our relationship with God since its roots are grounded in God’s word. Apostle Paul understood this spiritual truth and pointed to the fact that God’s word is the spiritual sword which overcomes the prince of darkness through Christ. Such is what we call the scriptural prayer. It is one of the most powerful forms of prayers because it is aligned with God’s holy will. Hence, you should not perceive the act of praying in the spirit as some strange or mystical experience. Rather perceive it as a way of praising, thanking, and calling God to intervene in our lives according to what his word says. His word says that we are victorious through Christ and such a prayer comes in to confirm this saying.

2. Praying without ceasing

Jesus Christ started with prayers and ended with prayers. He taught all his followers how to pray and the importance of praying without ceasing. On several occasions within the scriptures, we are told how Jesus Christ passed most of his nights praying. There is power in prayers. By praying without ceasing, we are inviting God’s will in our lives and strengthening ourselves against the attacks from the prince of darkness and his agents. An intense prayer life takes the followers of Christ into higher spiritual dimensions of victory over the Devil. We serve a God who is willing and ready to hear and answer the prayers of the faithful. Bring everything to him in prayers and you’ll live to testify his goodness in your life.

 

What Does Leadership Look Like to You?

Jason Moore
-
1
What Does Leadership Look Like to You?

Leaders are the ones with all the answers, the one who has done it right without mistakes, the one who knows everything. The brilliant one who multitasks with one eye shut and a hand tied behind their back.

No.

Usually, it is the weakest person who refuses to quit and is humble enough to learn life lessons as they present themselves. Leaders are not born; they are made. Forged from the fires of failure and perseverance, they refuse to quit because their cause is too great.

King Solomon shows many examples of leadership. The queen of Sheba shares about Solomon’s leadership in 1 Kings 10:4-9:

“When the queen of Sheba had seen all the wisdom of Solomon, and the house (palace) which he had built, the food on his table, the seating of his servants (court officials), the attendance of his waiters and their attire, his cup-bearers, his stairway by which he went up to the house (temple) of the Lord, she was breathless and awed [by the wonder of it all].  Then she told the king, “The report which I heard in my own land about your words and wisdom is true! I did not believe the report until I came and saw it with my own eyes. Behold, half of it was not told to me. You exceed in wisdom and prosperity the report which I heard. How blessed (fortunate, happy) are your men! How blessed are these your servants who stand continually before you, hearing your wisdom! Blessed be the Lord your God who delighted in you to set you on the throne of Israel! Because the Lord loved Israel forever, He made you king to execute justice and righteousness.”

Solomon’s leadership in 1 Kings 4:29 shaped his kingdom and transformed the people around him.

Leadership vs Management

There is a shortage of real leaders today. We have plenty of managers and organizers. A leader is different; they see what few see, and do what few do. They are people-builders. Leaders manage things, but lead people.

A leader leads others. They observe and learn to cultivate the gifts of the ones who follow them. The fabric of a leader exemplifies integrity. They are honest and always sharpening their skills to be the best example to others. They do what they say and say what they do.

Many people are available to help but are they gifted to lead others? Just because they are available to lead doesn’t mean they are leaders.

Here are some signs you might be a leader:

    • Are people following you?
    • Do people get behind your ideas?
    • Are you influencing those above you?
    • Do people come to you for advice and counsel?
    • Is what you’re doing being replicated in other circles?

Priorities of a leader are centered around building people. They can’t pour themselves into everyone, so they must choose those who have influence. Effective leadership comes alongside others and doesn’t stand over people and bark at them. Their philosophy could look like this:

    • Equip others to excel beyond what they believe they can do.
    • Encourage others to continue growing into their potential.
    • Empower others to build trust and to replicate your heart in others.

Nothing happens by accident, but wisdom is knowledge applied intentionally. Observing the person’s capacity to receive from you will determine retention and growth. Study your team and see what frustrates them and what edifies them, what stunts the work and what builds momentum and then adjust accordingly.

The Hero Complex

Leaders may take on a “hero complex” where they feel the need to be the answer to all things at hand. It can’t be a one-man show; this spells death for the leader. No one is able to do it all. Fatigue can happen when a leader doesn’t develop their team to the fullest extent. If you are the keyhole to all your growth, then creativity and growth will be choked out eventually.

Clearly communicating what you want done and giving your team the freedom to function will build momentum. Setting people up for failure happens when there is poor communication, poor tools and no environment of trust. Leaders lead others into believing and acting in their potential.

Non-negotiables for leaders:

    • Inspire others
    • Train others
    • Exemplify the mission
    • Be a team-builder that builds and includes like-minded people
    • Engage in continuous self-education

Often leaders believe they can talk and do everything without a specialty niche. If you don’t know what you do best then true effectiveness will not be realized.  You may be productive in meeting goals but effectiveness is when you impart the vision and build people to duplicate your vision.

Leadership Goals

Want to be feared or respected? Intimidation may get someone to do what you want them to do but it won’t win the heart. As soon as you’re out of sight, you will be out of their mind. An insecure leader will make sure everyone knows who is the “boss”. The one who has real control and influence will communicate and lead by example. What they do will speak louder than what they say.

Ego can drive the power-hungry to demand more control. This “impossible to satisfy” leader may get the job done but they will destroy people in the process. You will be surprised at who will rise to the surface as you train your team; it is often hidden talent among you. Get out of your own way.

What kind of leader are you?

Your skill-sets will determine your ability. Personality is not enough to build other leaders; we must give what we have been given. We want those we are surrounded by to go beyond where we are now. The attitude of our team reflects on how they are cared for. People don’t follow titles alone; they want to know the heart of their leader and follow their passions.

Some types of leadership look like this:

    • Mover and Shaker. Lots of movement and growth. People are watching and moving with you.
    • Visionary. Inspired to dream big as if nothing is impossible.
    • Builder. Building people and systems to make the impossible believable and achievable.
    • Figure-head. Present, but lost the heart of the vision long ago.
    • Passive-aggressive. Lives in procrastination, then in reaction.
    • Overbearing. Controls every detail being image-conscious more than developing others around him.

The impact is not the only result of leadership; a hammer impacts as well as consistent droplets of water, with two different results. Transferring your passions and dreams to another so they can follow in your footsteps will build a lasting legacy.

What is shaping you?

The leader must be led. Those around you will grow to the measure that you grow. You are the average of the five people that influence your life.

Look around you and ask yourself:

    • Am I going in the direction I want to go?
    • Am I becoming the person I want to become?
    • What am I building; people or an organization?
    • Am I looking to learn from others?
    • Am I thankful?

The answers to these questions will determine if you are a leader or a follower. Impact where you are by living outside the comfort box of that which comes easy to you. Develop effectiveness by learning new tools to trail-blaze beyond what everyone else is doing.

Marriage is a Three-Legged Race

Jason Moore
-
2
Marriage is a Three-Legged Race

A three-legged race—wow, what a challenge those are!

I remember my wife and I hobbling and hopping around, talking fast and instructing each other how to move and stay standing while trying to move forward without falling. It was a sight to see! I think we did finish the race laughing at each other—far from the front of the line. It took coordination, lots of adjusting and working together. These three words help describe one of the most important aspects of marriage—learning to walk together in agreement (Amos 3:3).

[Tweet “Oneness is not sameness. Learning to work together and function in unity takes humility and the willingness to adjust, coordinate and work together to one end.”]

The mystery of marriage is how God brings sinners with many differences and flaws, together into close proximity. The two become one in agreement. What does that really mean? Each one has a uniqueness and individuality, but they are both not the same. Diversity is an adventure in the relationship. At first—in the dating stages—we may be on your best behavior, overlooking the glaring novice traits. We may think that once we get married it will be different, “I will change him!” Well here is a myth-buster: what you see will be magnified in the marriage. Often, in premarital counseling, we help explain tools that help promote coordination, adjustments and working together to promote oneness. Often the oneness is in the result, but the approach is different.

Here are a few questions for observation:

  • What do you value?
  • What is your objective?
  • Is your way the only way or are you willing to learn?
  • Are you doing what you’re doing for each other, for yourself or for someone else?

A concession is hard to swallow in a relationship. We often are convinced our way is the best way. In Scripture, we often see Abraham and David listen to their wives and yield to their ideas. Their willingness and humility saved them much heartache. Leadership is not always your plan in action, but it is looking ahead prayerfully and going ahead in what promotes oneness without losing your values.

Flexibility

If I were to ask you to do the splits, what would you think? I know I can’t do one no matter how long I would stretch! Marriage can be like this, where unrealistic expectations are placed on each other. What is asked can’t be performed, either because there is no willingness or no ability. The way through this exercise is to keep the lines of communication open and patiently communicate your heart.

As an athlete trains, they push their physical threshold a little bit at a time. This measurable, slow progress is growth. In time—as we are patient with each other—flexibility is achieved. Oneness comes at the cross, where we are conformed to Christ’s image. We need and look more like Christ every day.

We adjust and become spiritually agile as Christ increases and we decrease.

Coordination

How many of you can juggle? Or balance several plates on a tray? We all have a weak side and a strong side. A dominant ability and a passive one. As we train ourselves, we begin to train the passive parts and we can become ambidextrous. With continuous rehearsal, in time we can have full function.

Our spouse may know the right buttons to push to cause our bad coordination. Marriage can be like a dance, where we feel like we are all thumbs or all left feet. Words come out seemly in different languages and oneness and agreement is like a faraway galaxy.  Here are some perspective-makers:

  • Pray.
  • Stop talking and listen carefully.
  • Concentrate on what is being said or done.
  • What do you understand?
  • What do you agree on?
  • Give your spouse’s idea a chance.

Nonverbal communication makes up 55% of communication. Body language and posture share what is going on inside you. You may have rosy words but your tone (which makes up 38% of your communication) and the way you hold yourself is speaking volumes.

[Tweet “Take a step back and assess these things. Before you open your mouth, relax, take a deep breath and embrace that which brings you together, even if you agree to disagree. Work together.”]

Often, I hear men say, “I am the head of this house and my way goes!” That sounds good but it is also a terrible approach. Intimidation or demands backfire and the responsive wife is now on the defensive. Whichever spouse is not in agreement needs to understand that you both are on the same team and if you don’t work together you both lose. Maybe one of you has a weakness; it is easy to say, “That is your problem, not mine!” That is logical but inaccurate. You both are now one and your problems are each other’s. This is not a competition to see who can be the best spouse outperforming one another. It is about working together and giving each other grace. Come alongside and be an encourager, not a judge.

[Tweet “Billy Graham said this many years ago when someone asked, “What is the greatest act that portrays Christ?” He said forgiveness! It is easy to demand compliance or even justify forgiveness, but Jesus showed forgiveness as an unconditional act of love. When we give what is needed and not what is deserved there is a reciprocal action of life.”]

Parenting is tough but so rewarding. Long days but short years it seems. These “little adults” may act out, wanting attention (even if it is negative attention.) Children are starving to be loved.  Even with our spouses, this is our greatest need, often veiled in disagreements. Do you love me even if I don’t agree with you? Security in love brings the right responses.

Here are a few ways to deescalate a disagreement:

  • Pray.
  • What does my spouse need?
  • What shows honor and respect?
  • What kind of day did they have?
  • Don’t underestimate spiritual warfare in your relationship.
  • By fighting fire with fire, we are both consumed. Soft answers turn away wrath.

Married to your wounds

We are all broken. Often, we communicate our hurts. Our past can be an awful lens to our present and future. Jesus is the Healing Balm. He can bind our wounds and bring in the total healing of a broken heart (Psalms 147:3.) Surrender your pain and mistakes to God’s Altar, as an offering to Him, and have Him burn them up and remove the ashes. Don’t feed on ashes, that which is dead and can’t be changed (Isaiah 44:22.) Letting go of what hurts us and feeding on God’s faithfulness (Psalms 37:3) brings hope alive.

[Tweet “Marriage is two sinners learning and sharing a perfect Christ with each other. There is no perfect marriage only a perfect sacrifice in Jesus to share with each other.”]

In Hebrews 5:8, Jesus learned obedience through suffering. Why would we think it would be different for us?

We may say, “This is not what I signed up for.” Maybe you have good reason to be discouraged today. To have hope in ourselves or our spouse, who is fallible, is discouraging. Jesus will never fail you! The sooner we learn to agree with Him and what He says, the sooner we will experience oneness. As we turn our hearts toward heaven, we see Jesus and learn a new mission for our marriage.

It is the oneness—not our happiness—of the mission that makes us Holy. You may say, “I want to be happy!” I agree that is a noble goal, but it is not the ultimate goal. The reason for all things is that we are being conformed to the image of Christ, in holiness; separated unto Christ and Christ alone.

To love each other the way they are—rather than trying to change each other—builds a working relationship. We learn to be content and enjoy the differences and count our blessings where we find them.

Marriage is God’s idea and His invention. It demands maturity. When we do it His way, we experience His fullness.

[Tweet “Today, with such spiritual warfare trying to pull marriages apart, we must understand that it isn’t about winning the three-legged race, but finishing the race TOGETHER.”]

1...282930...56Page 29 of 56

CATEGORIES

EDITOR PICKS

POPULAR POSTS

POPULAR CATEGORIES

ABOUT US

Christian apologetics, Bible prophecy, kingdom identity and teaching.

FOLLOW US

© 2014-2024 Levaire. | 233 N Walnut St, Lansing MI 48933